Eight months pregnant

August 2019:

I’m officially living with my parents again. That’s been weird and full of emotions. Sometimes it’s just fine and other times I get antsy and anxious, because I’m getting used to this being the new normal. It used to be easy to escape to my room when I needed alone time. Now there are always people around! We have family dinner every night and then have to clean up after. Clean up was easy for just one person. Having my basement room has made it easier. And I knew that my life would be changing to include a baby! I couldn’t be teaching her bad habits like eating dinner in front of Netflix!

Also, just feeling like it was OK to live with my parents again and have a baby as a single person took some time. I still struggle a bit with it. It’s going to be hard, being alone and not having a husband to take ownership in this with me. That is a scary thing. But every time I started to doubt, I thought of the little person inside me that I finally got to meet, and I thought of how awesome my sister and brother and parents and friends are. So I take a deep breath and move forward. Until the next tiny panic attack, when I go through the thought process again. :)

I’ve implemented little changes into my parents’ lives like a whiteboard to write messages on when we’re out, and a “clean/dirty” magnet for the dishwasher. I also organized the refrigerator to make sense, since it always seemed to be stuffed with old produce. I’ve started a project to organize all dad’s tools in the garage. He has screws and nails and random metal things and screwdrivers all over the place. And I’ve started organizing dressers and drawers around the house. Mom love/hates it.

My basement bedroom got finished, the baby room got finished and I started school. That was challenging. It’s hot and there’s no AC and I felt as heavy as a house and every time I did any moderate activity, my hips hurt for days afterwards. 

I loved my students. They were adorable. They brought me presents and said they would miss me (once I told them I would be leaving in only three weeks). It got harder and harder to teach, but my students were troopers. I planned to work right up until Aug. 30, and then I decided to take that day off, to make sure everything was ready for the baby before I was induced that evening. My boss came to do an evaluation on my last day, Thursday, and I told him, “Really?” And also “YOU’RE my evaluator??” because usually I get the dean of students. “I’ve avoided having you as my evaluator for three years!” He laughed. I stayed at work until 5 p.m. that day frantically trying to get everything ready for my substitute. Then I drove home, feeling freedom and relief that the sub would be ready, and that I was about to start something new.

Baby room:

Basement Bedroom:

Baby shower!

My baby shower was June 29. It was another special event. My mom and sister planned it and we hosted it in my parents’ backyard. Danielle bought a “baby’s First ABC Book” from her friend at SamanthaBDesign.com as an activity to do at the baby shower. We also had people decorate diapers and cut out shapes for the tree in the baby’s room. We made three types of crescent sandwiches: cucumber and dill cream cheese, ham and brie with honey mustard, and egg salad with bacon. People from lots of walks of life were there; childhood friends, a friend from when I worked at Oshkosh, several from my time at the Reporter-Herald, a mom and her daughter from my bible study in Westminster, and a couple from CSU grad school. It was wonderful. Mom and Danielle did a great job planning it.

July 2019

Aunt Pat visited from Nebraska for a week. It was so nice to have her here! She came to the baby shower and in the week following, she helped me organize all the baby clothes and even helped me move out of my house.

I attended a baby class on July 6 with Mom. It was eye opening and a little nerve wracking. I never had to watch Danielle be in labor since she had C-sections. So I have to go through that whole process! People say it’s just a day and then you don’t remember the pain anymore because you have the baby. I hope that’s true. :)

Gracie was a pretty quiet baby and it took me a long time to feel her kick, not until around week 28. Partly that was because I had an anterior placenta, which cushioned her blows. It felt like a rolling in the stomach, balump-balump! Then just a couple weeks into July, I pressed my hand below my breast and felt her push back. Oh wow, she was really in there! When I went to one of my prenatals, the doctor felt for your heartbeat and laughed because you kept moving around. “Little stinker, she just kicked the dopple!” she said. Then, I started to feel her all the time, especially when I sat still. They weren't sharp jabs, just pushes here and there in random places, like she was stretching out.

Getting ready to move

More in June:

Around March and April I started looking for a place to buy, because my roommate was moving out of the condo I shared with her. Then it turned out that my landlord was willing to sell my condo to me! I closed on it June 12. Later, I decided to move in with my parents for one or two years and rent out that condo to others to pay the mortgage, while getting the support I need with the baby. :) My parents decided to renovate the basement for me to live in. On several occasions, Danielle, Nathan, Ben and I came over to our parents’ house to clear out the garage and basement. We got rid of junk and organized junk and got it ready for renovation. (So many tubes of wrapping paper and tissue paper and why are there so many jars?)

I now own a place! On July 5, my family helped me move half my stuff into a storage unit, and half to their house. Boxes were everywhere. The basement wasn't ready yet, so I was staying in an upstairs bedroom until that was finished. The lower bedroom that used to be mom’s office has been repainted as the baby's room. 

And let me pause for a moment to say that my parents are amazing. I've gently suggested several changes to their home, and Mom's first response was always. "Nope. No thank you. No way." And then she'd cave when she saw the wisdom of the plan. Because she loves me and it was the smartest thing! First, her office was the downstairs bedroom (which used to be our playroom when we were little and then my bedroom in high school). I suggested she could maybe move her office to an upstairs bedroom so that this room could be the baby room. "No," she said. Because the office is her baby. "That would be way too much work."

"Well, maybe we could do that," Dad said.

Mom finally gave a big sigh and gave in. Danielle and I came over one day to clean out her office and help her throw stuff away and suggest that maybe she didn't need QUITE so many Jehovah's Witness literature (to convert them to Christianity when they come to the door). Then I suggested, maybe we could install real carpet in the baby's room instead of the piece of carpet now lying over the old yellow linoleum that originally came with the house 40 years ago. And also, I suggested, maybe we could get the shower working again in the dowstairs bathroom that has always been a storage closet since my parents' moved into this house, so I wouldn't have to share my dad's shower. That one was another firm no - more an overwhelmed sigh at everything that had to get done, and then she surprised me by having it fixed the very weekend I went into labor! (More on the shower later)

Danielle and I came to help paint the baby room one day and it was like the work kept going on and on. Mom had agreed to install carpet, so we ripped up the old carpet that was just laying on top of old yellow linoleum, then we realized we really should get rid of the popcorn ceiling, so we scraped that down. Well, they scraped and I applied water since I was feeling baby more and more! And we never got to painting that day. Then Mom paid her handyman friend to actually paint the room, which was AMAZING so we didn't have to come back and paint. He also ripped up the yellow linoleum. 

I came back one day and painted a big white tree on the wall, which is where we’d add decals of leaves and butterflies that we’d have people cut out at my baby shower.

My family helped be at the condo a few times to paint and clean. I also met with a property manager and decided to use her to relieve the burden on myself. And then I hoped desperately to fill the place.

Starting the summer...

June 2019

My app said Gracie was the size of a jicama (about 3 ¾ pounds)! I bet everyone can visualize that now. That’s apparently a white-fleshed, edible tuber, used in Mexican cooking. (So my Mexican cousins might get it. :)) 

I started having to use the restroom a little more often towards the end of the school year as well. We had several in-class parties where some kids brought gifts. The school year ended and this crazy busy summer began. My wonderful roommate Christy moved out and before she did, we went camping. That was great… and hard because I’ve started to feel like a beached whale, so sleeping on a blow up mattress near the floor wasn’t great.

My family went on two mini trips right after school got out, one to California to see our cousins and a couple uncles, and one on Tour de Nebraska. We brought the nephews with us on the bike tour. I didn’t bike this time, just hung out with the family. It was a little hot and we walked a lot and my feet started swelling often and I was feeling large! Also my hips ached, my lower back ached… Basically my body was miserable. Then I saw this overweight, pregnant woman sitting on the grass at an event in California, and she looked HUGE and I was like, oh great, I have that to look forward to.

California

Tour de Nebraska

Sleeping was often a struggle. I had nights where I tossed and turned because I couldn't get the pillows, right. I bought a maternity C-shaped pillow, which seemed to help for awhile. Later, I started stacking pillows up high so I could sleep at a more upright position. That also helped because also, my BOOBS WERE SO HUGE and I found myself feeling strangled in them and also like it’s too hard to struggle out of bed at night if I’m flat. Also, I went to the bathroom 3-5 times a night, depending on how much water I drank close to bed time. And my feet were always super swollen by evening. 

Gender reveal party

March 9, 2019:

The reveal party was delightful. We went to Beau Jo’s in Longmont so my Westminster friends could be there. Danielle made the cupcakes and Beau Jo’s kindly put them in the refrigerator at the restaurant. Mom brought me balloons and several people even brought me gifts! It was like an early baby shower. Johanna was even like, “Oh, was I supposed to bring a gift?” No, but it was an awesome surprise. My partner teacher gave me a diaper bag (backpack). My nephews made cards for me about how they were excited to meet the baby. 

And finally, finally with nervous excitement, I bit into a cupcake (more tore it open) and discovered I was having little Gracie. I tear up as I think about it. I think auntie Danielle may have cried, too. I’m having a little baby girl!

The following Monday, I revealed it to my students at school. I had purchased pink foil-wrapped coins at a party store and wrapped them in plain silver foil. One student painted me a wonderful painting of a tree with animals under it. She brought pink and blue paint, and the students had to decide their choice of gender and add a thumbprint in that color to the tree. I had a lot of teachers and students sign it and guess the gender. Then I passed out the foil candies and they unwrapped them to find out it was a girl. I got lots of hugs, especially from fourth period.

My nausea and occasional bouts of throwing up waned as I headed into the second trimester. Instead, I got sick only when I threw away old food from the fridge or heard about something gross. The idea of bad smells - not even the actual smell! - made me literally throw up. That continued into third trimester as well. On one memorable day, my students got to save me from gross smells. The power strip that powered my mini fridge at work went out, so my fridge was without power for three days. Water had leaked down to the floor of the fridge and started to mold, which I didn’t discover immediately. I had asked a few students to help me move my desk to accommodate the length of my new power cord (a little shorter) and the fridge door popped open. I had to run to the hallway as I gagged, while my students laughed at me. Then two brave students put shirts over their mouths and went to work cleaning out the fridge for me! Another student raced off to the bathroom to get paper towels to help clean it up. That was adorable.

I also noticed that baby Gracie made me much bolder than normal. It could be just me but I liked to say that, “Gracie made me do it.”