I have tried very hard this holiday season to think about carbs, to eat my meal supplements during the day and to choose wisely when out with friends during the many dinners out and parties that December entails. I haven't lost as much as I could have if I were dieting during a boring month like March but at least I have been losing something instead of gaining a lot of weight.
On Friday before the Christmas weekend, I decided not to worry about food during the weekend because it's inconvenient when everyone is eating delicious food to say, "No bread for me, thanks. No, I can't eat that. Please don't let me near that chocolate."
I should have worked out a better plan than, "I'm just not going to worry about it at all." Because what does that give my mind permission to do? Go for broke. I should have said, "I'll go ahead and enjoy the Christmas foods, but have only one serving and think before picking up another cookie."
I was thinking about food. I thought, "guilt, guilt, guilt, guilt. But I'm doing it anyway because I decided I could."
I ate chicken cordon bleu and cheese fondue with vegetables and bread for Christmas Eve. This is our family tradition of late. We always eat a pub cheese fondue made with a cup and a half of beer and it is the most delicious thing in the world. For dessert, we dipped strawberries in a chocolate fondue. On Christmas Day, we had a pork roast (that's okay) and twice baked potatoes made with sour cream, cheese and chives. For dessert, we had pies. The one I had made was a recipe I tried out from the Internet; chocolate mousse. It tasted like a chocolate bar. Possibly because I had melted an almond chocolate bar with whipped cream and marshmallows.
I woke up Monday completely filled with guilt and depression. I didn't get on the scale. I couldn't bear to see what I'd gained. Here I had this big ol' goal to lose a lot of weight in December and I was failing. I still haven't gotten on the scale. I got back on my diet and it was hard. Meal supplements are just not the same as bread and meats and cheesy grease.
But. When I stick to the diet and the plan, the change I feel is amazing. A lot of it is psychological: I know I'm doing what I should so I feel good about myself because I'm accomplishing a goal. When I eat terribly, I feel bloated and unhealthy and depressed, because I'm sabotaging myself and I know it.
All is not lost. I plan to stick to this strict diet until the middle of January, and I'll be over the hump of the holidays after this weekend. I can still reach my goals.
Plan for the New Year's Weekend: Eat before going out on New Year's Eve so I'm not tempted to order snacks somewhere. Stick to just a couple of diet coke with rum-type drinks. Enjoy one champagne toast at midnight. Eat hors d'ouevres if it's mostly meat.