Thursday, April 1, 2010

Finding true love... or something

I joined eHarmony a couple weeks ago with my best friend Jo. For those Ukrainian friends who don't know what that is, it's an online site to meet people of the opposite gender.

Jo and I spent maybe two hours filling out the forms. They take you through several pages of questions about your likes/dislikes, what are you passionate about, do you smoke, what religious affiliations do you prefer, etc. At the end of all that, THEN that's when they make you pay. A lot.

My dad's stipulation was that he'd prefer if my matches not be from Delaware because he doesn't want me to move away. "Why Delaware?" I asked. "As long as it's not someone far away," he said. But of all places... Delaware?

I put down a 60-mile radius, which means I've been getting a lot of matches from Denver. Not far at all and yet I think, if I meet someone from there, that means I have to drive to Denver! Oh the annoyance.

So this is what happens. EHarmony sends me matches daily. These are guys who put down things that eHarmony thinks would be a good match for me. I look at their profile, examine their photos and decide if I want to further communicate with any of them. If I do, I can send them five questions I choose from a long list. They multiple-choice answer them and return with their own questions to me. If I liked their answers, I can exchange must haves/can't stands (things I would or dislike in a partner). If I like the looks of those things, third step is to exchange three questions that are open-ended; we can answer anything we want. And finally, we have full e-mail capability and can e-mail back and forth (through eHarmony) at will with anything we want.

They control it so that we get to know each other slowly. I like it. Still, it's hard to tell through the internet what I'm going to think about a boy. Some of these guy's photos are not good. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. You can't tell someone's personality from a picture. I'm often attracted to guys because of the way their humor or whatever sparks right out of them. I hope they do the same for me.

And the thing I wonder is, why all the photos on a mountaintop? I know I live in Colorado, but with almost every guy, I can be guaranteed at least one photo of a guy standing on a mountain against a glorious blue back drop. Also, many photos where he's with a group of friends mugging for the camera and I have a 'where's waldo?' moment, trying to figure out which one he is.

So far I've gotten to the last step with one guy. He seems pretty cool. An engineer. Lives in Littleton. Knows how to fix a car (very handy). Willing to come to Fort Collins to hang out. We shall see.

I told another friend that I wasn't sure if we'd like each other in person and she was all, "How can you know that?" Then she looked at me piercingly and said, "Are you scared?"

And I was all outraged, "Hey! Don't do that 'are you scared' nonsense." Because, how annoying, someone coming out and saying that. Like I'm this vulnerable person who might be a little scared. It's just some guy... And she's all, "well, you know, you might be thinking maybe he won't like you."

And seriously, I'm not the s-word. Maybe I'm a little NERVOUS. I wouldn't say, scared.


  1. Jess,
    I hope you'll like each other.
    Good luck!

  2. yes!yes!yes!
    I did it!
    I can post my comments now!